Given the statistice that 1 in 150 children have some form of autism, there is strong possibility that someone in your life has been diagnosed as a person whose behavior and relationship difficulties places them on the autistic spectrum.

I have Asperger’s Syndrome, but I didn’t find this out until after the age of forty. I consider this a blessing because I never struggled with a label  presuming negative and limited expectations for my growth and development. To the contrary, my family generously embraced me as brilliant, a bit brittle, artistically talented, somewhat of a purist/idealist, strong-willed and…a little eccentric. I can’t stress enough the importance of neutral emotional outlets for neuro-atypical people; making art and music — scribbles and songs — are valuable allies in handling the flood of emotions rarely channeled into close human relationships.

We do care. We do love. Despite the impressions we may give of being aloof and socially awkward.

Fortunately, I have good language and communication skills. This is why, after having worked on compensating for being differently-abled and excruciatingly shy for more than fifteen years, and having been a caretaker for young adults diagnosed with Asperger’s Syndrome, I am delighted to write a series of books from the perspective of a child who is struggling with Asperger’s Syndrome. Each Wendy Ann Has Oughtism book contains clues on alternative ways of relating to and caring for a neuro-atypical child.

I wrote this series because I believe, first of all, we should all see ourselves reflected in the world in which we live in. Children struggling with autism are unpredictable, easily upset, and with inappropriate physical acting out they tend to be hidden to the rest of the world.  Secondly, speaking from experience, I believe it’s important to challenge current, conventional ideas about autism.

Clearly, no one knows what causes autism. Autistic behavior results from a complex structure of genetics, social expectations, parenting issues and environmental factors. I am going to suggest that in many respects, current ideas on both cause and treatment may be barking up the wrong tree. I will use the word terror, because it is the feeling of abject terror I must move through to be able to share who I am with a fundamental sense of trust and reciprocity when meeting anyone over the age of twelve. This terror of other human beings was  part of my nervous system long before cognitive function made it possible to understand and interpret the many sides of human nature and make my first friend.

While recent studies have eliminated the mercury derivative Thimerosal contained in childhood vaccines as a cause of autism, what needs to be stressed is that, in some children, altered biochemistry in utero combined with vaccinations containing multiple germs may simply overwhelm a delicate immune system. The act of deliberately producing pain and sickness in an otherwise well but susceptible child may be interpreted in a child’s body/mind as a deliberate assault on a developing yet fragile sense of being and bonding with the world itself. 

Exceptionally bright children may be exceptionally bright because their nervous systems are more sensitive and thus, have access to information different in kind, character, perceptual markers and intensity than less sensitive children.  I would suggest parents of bright, precocious and sensitive babies err on the side of caution when it comes to volunteering to introduce disease into a child’s developing body. Longer intervals between vaccinations, choosing which vaccinations you want your child to receive, and never, ever vaccinate even a mildly ill baby. Teething babies running fevers? Perhaps an inopportune time  to introduce an additional stress to a fledgling immune system. 

We don’t fully understand the biochemical journey from breast milk to solid food. Or soy milk or formula to solid food. We take it for granted that any baby can eat any food.  The possibility of a baby having allergic reactions to newly introduced solid foods.  A toddler can actively refuse a food its body says is a no-go.  An infant’s reaction of dislike or a refusal of a baby formula or food may be easily missed or ignored, and with it clues about a potential food allergy.

I happen to be a person with multiple and severe environmental allergies and mild food allergies. Which came first, the allergies or the Asperger’s?  Before attending kindergarten, I had a severe reaction to a smallpox vaccination, becoming quite ill. During this episode of intense physical discomfort, I distanced myself from the need for comfort from my mother and the character of contact with my primary family subtly changed. I didn’t want to be touched but would initiate cuddling when I felt distressed. I remember this time in my early life and the growing sense that people weren’t to be trusted, and in fact were a source of pain and distress. Which came first, the reaction to the smallpox vaccine or the Asperger’s?

I appreciate elements in the Wendy Ann stories, therefore, may be considered controversial but there are obvious challenges to being an attuned parent to a passive or difficult infant in our fast-paced society. In each human life, there are critical developmental windows.  If these windows of opportunity are not recognized, it is virtually impossible to recapture the developmental strides they open to.  Presence and emotional authenticity is as essential as love in nurturing any child, and these characteristics are the pathways of feeling connection in neuro-atypical children. Not pity, condescension, anger, uber-control, or approval.

Each Wendy Ann story is based on the notion that revealing some of the perceptual implications of one personal struggle with ”ought-ism”  is a valuable endeavor. It is my deepest wish that these stories will help many children, their parents and siblings, family systems and concerned and dedicated professionals open to greater understanding of what may be going on in the mind and heart of a neuro-atypical child.

Lastly, to all the children struggling with autistic behavior, these stories are about what makes you tick, about your good days and bad days, and what you can’t say out loud or express for yourselves. You are not alone. You have value in this world.  With a child-centered approach to your needs, quirks, and physical sensitivities you can absolutely grow up to live a full, interesting and rewarding life.

I’m the author of several children’s books and an adult living with Asperger’s Syndrome.  A practicing hands on energy healer, I’ve taught classes, transformational workshops and retreats around the world, and produced a video documentary of my cutting edge healing collaboration in two hospitals in Moscow, Russia just as the Soviet Union collapsed.

Wendy Ann Has Oughtism is the series title.  Other books: Jabber! You’re a Good Bird!, Everybody in the World is at GG’s House, Grody Rodeo, and I Don’t Want to Sunday.

My non-fiction titles: Terroir of the Spirit: Living Lessons, a Memoir and Everything You Need to Know Before You Fall in Love